Rainbow Baby

My daughter is a ‘Rainbow Baby’; born after a miscarriage. I only heard of this metaphor recently but it got me thinking so much I had to write. In truth, I will catch myself thinking about my miscarriage for many reasons: I still get these emails ‘you and your X month old’, though less frequently (I signed up when I found out I was pregnant to track my progress and never seemed to be able to get off). It’s so common, it will happen to somebody you know and it resonates in me every time. Also my curious mind wonders, what would they be like?

I miscarried just before Mothers Day and my niece brought me some flowers and wished me a happy Mothers Day. I replied that I wasn’t a mother but my sister argued that I was. I have held on to this and I know motherhood takes many forms but physically the baby was in me and it’s DNA was in my blood stream, that fascinates me. So when I think of miscarriage, that baby has to exit your system (which perhaps they never do completely) and when I think of how many children I have, I have one but I had another and I want to acknowledge that. I have a ‘Rainbow Baby’ and am extremely grateful to have a healthy and happy daughter, but like many this does not replace the baby I lost and who I account for.

As time passes I still wonder and I don’t know if this will ever change. I’m glad to those women that shared their experiences with me, their words helped. The thought of having a ‘Rainbow Baby’ is a positive one and I felt that there were many women/mothers around me that helped me look towards life whilst honoring our feelings for the death of our babies.

Rainbow Baby

You’re my rainbow baby but there’s no pot of gold,

There is a reserved space for a story untold.

An empty derelict home that nobody claims.

Only I remember, the deed’s in my name.

Sometimes I go back, knowing no work can be done,

Helplessly drawn to view because I was their mum.

We lived together, sharing everything inside,

Then they split everything, when from inside they died.

A baby died in me, leaving a dirty red.

I remember this but face the rainbow instead.

Mama Grace

This post first appeared on http://www.meetothermums.com

63 thoughts on “Rainbow Baby

  1. I don’t think many people have heard the term rainbow baby unless they have one. I had two miscarriages before our rainbow babies. Hardest thing that I’ve been through, something that takes a while to learn to live with. Lovely poem x #ThatFridayLinky

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  2. twotinyhands

    This is something I can’t comprehend because I’ve not been through it. I imagine it to be completely heart breaking though. I’ve got my 2nd on the way and I’m 20 weeks so have past the danger zones but in the early days I always had a thought of what if… as you say it’s quite common. I love your poem. ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬ xxx

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  3. Oh Grace, I am so sorry to hear of your lost. Writing it all down can help a lot. I’m glad that you have found people to talk to as well. It does help a lot. Have you heard about Laura at fivelittledoves.com ? She also can had a rainbow baby. Do speak to her. She is so very lovey.

    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

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  4. I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy for your rainbow. I lost 15 babies to miscarriage and my second son to stillbirth, so I know all too well how precious these rainbow babies are.
    #fabfridaypost

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  5. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this. I have two rainbow babies who I am grateful for every single day and far too many I will never get to meet. I will always wonder about them, what they would have been like, the colour of their hair, their eyes. I don’t think it ever leaves you, but it does get easier. Beautiful poem x
    #SharingtheBlogLove

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    1. Thank you. There are so many women that have experienced this, when it’s talked about you realise how common it is. This doesn’t make it feel normal but there’s a strength from knowing you’re not alone. Sorry for your loss too. x

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  6. Beautiful words!!! This left me in tears – I have had 3 miscarriages and there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think about what they would’ve looked like or what kind of personality they would’ve had. A miscarriage is so heartbreaking and it’s fantastic that people like you are talking openly about it – too many women keep it quiet, which can obviously have devastating effects on their mental health. Lovely piece of writing #bigpinklink

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  7. mackenzieglanville

    I had never heard of this term either until quire recently. I am so sorry to hear this, I too have had a few miscarriages and I still consider them as my children too, my precious babies that I will always love. I have 3 Rainbow babies and I feel so blessed for that. Sending love and hugs your way xx #GlobalBlogging

    Liked by 1 person

  8. amielizabethblog

    I completely relate to everything you say here. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and have just had our own Rainbow Baby. “A person is a person no matter how small.” x #twinklytuesday

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Beautiful words. My rainbow baby is nearly one, his brother Findlay was stillborn in 2015. I love the metaphor of a rainbow baby, I always call him ‘the baby born in the storm, who brought the colour back to us.’ Thanks for sharing #TriumphantTales

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  10. As a mummy of a rainbow baby, after losing three before she came along, I feel your pain, but also, your niece is right-you’re still a mumma, and deserve to be treated like you are.
    Big hugs hun xxx

    #PostsFromTheHeart

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss. It must be such a horrible thing to go through. Your sister is definitely right – you were still a mummy on that first Mother’s Day and that little one will always have a special place in your heart, as will your beautiful rainbow baby. #triumphanttales

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  12. This made me tear up, you wrote this so beautifully. My sister had a miscarriage and at the time I didn’t really understand what that meant to her but now that I’ve had my own I can imagine how hard that must have been. You are one amazing lady, I admire your strength. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #StayClassyMama!

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  13. I really am so sorry for your loss. I think that the term “rainbow baby” is beautiful but I can only imagine how devastating it must be to lose a little one that has very much been (and will always be) a part of you. Thank you for sharing your story and your deeply moving poem with #DreamTeam x

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  14. A beautiful poem. It speaks so truthfully of an experience that is so hard to explain. I’ve tried, both to myself and to others. I have two beautiful rainbow babies. I like to think that my three miscarriages were my two fabulous boys making their way through, they just needed more than one attempt to reach us.

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  15. I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I am so thankful that it isn’t something I have ever had to experience but it has affected so many people I am close to and I cannot comprehend the loss you must feel. Thank you for sharing your story x #SharingTheBlogLove

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  16. Sorry for your loss. Two miscarriages and one healthy, happy, now three-year-old rainbow. I did a lot of work, and journaling to let go of the anger and grief especially after my first mc. I don’t think about it that much any more. My kid keeps me on my toes and he wouldn’t be here if things had turned out differently. It’s a hard thing to go through though.

    Thanks for you poem. #twinklytuesday

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  17. So so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine. What a beautiful poem. Sorry for the late comment, better late than never! Thanks for joining #TriumphantTales.

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  18. randommusings29

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. The poem is beautiful and I think it perfectly captures the emotions
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

  19. What a beautiful poem! I am also a mother of a rainbow baby. I lost my first pregnancy at 9 weeks. Although it is so incredibly painful, for me I see now how much more I appreciate and cherish my daughter because of the previous loss. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

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