My daughter is a ‘Rainbow Baby’; born after a miscarriage. I only heard of this metaphor recently but it got me thinking so much I had to write. In truth, I will catch myself thinking about my miscarriage for many reasons: I still get these emails ‘you and your X month old’, though less frequently (I signed up when I found out I was pregnant to track my progress and never seemed to be able to get off). It’s so common, it will happen to somebody you know and it resonates in me every time. Also my curious mind wonders, what would they be like?
I miscarried just before Mothers Day and my niece brought me some flowers and wished me a happy Mothers Day. I replied that I wasn’t a mother but my sister argued that I was. I have held on to this and I know motherhood takes many forms but physically the baby was in me and it’s DNA was in my blood stream, that fascinates me. So when I think of miscarriage, that baby has to exit your system (which perhaps they never do completely) and when I think of how many children I have, I have one but I had another and I want to acknowledge that. I have a ‘Rainbow Baby’ and am extremely grateful to have a healthy and happy daughter, but like many this does not replace the baby I lost and who I account for.
As time passes I still wonder and I don’t know if this will ever change. I’m glad to those women that shared their experiences with me, their words helped. The thought of having a ‘Rainbow Baby’ is a positive one and I felt that there were many women/mothers around me that helped me look towards life whilst honoring our feelings for the death of our babies.
Rainbow Baby
You’re my rainbow baby but there’s no pot of gold,
There is a reserved space for a story untold.
An empty derelict home that nobody claims.
Only I remember, the deed’s in my name.
Sometimes I go back, knowing no work can be done,
Helplessly drawn to view because I was their mum.
We lived together, sharing everything inside,
Then they split everything, when from inside they died.
A baby died in me, leaving a dirty red.
I remember this but face the rainbow instead.
A baby died in me, leaving a dirty red.
I remember this but face the rainbow instead. Click To Tweet
Mama Grace
This post first appeared on http://www.meetothermums.com
I’m so sorry for your loss. My son is a rainbow baby too. The poem is beautiful.
#familyfunlinky
Thank you. I’m sorry for yours too.
This is such a beautiful post, thank you for sharing. #FamilyFunLinky
I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a beautiful poem. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky
I don’t think many people have heard the term rainbow baby unless they have one. I had two miscarriages before our rainbow babies. Hardest thing that I’ve been through, something that takes a while to learn to live with. Lovely poem x #ThatFridayLinky
Sorry to hear that. I spent my 2nd pregnancy trying to focus on being positive, which was a battle. We’re stronger than we think.
This is something I can’t comprehend because I’ve not been through it. I imagine it to be completely heart breaking though. I’ve got my 2nd on the way and I’m 20 weeks so have past the danger zones but in the early days I always had a thought of what if… as you say it’s quite common. I love your poem. Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky xxx
Thanks. Congrats on baby 2!
How lovely. I have two rainbow babies. It is so common, and not really spoken of much until it happens then you realise that people around you have gone through the same. Thank you for sharing. #Blogstravaganza
So true!
Beautifully written, I remember feeling so blessed with my first after having a miscarriage X #fabfridaypost
I am so sorry for your loss. Beautifully written.
Sending love and hugs x
#PoCoLo
What a beautifully written post, thank you for sharing #thatfridaylinky
Oh Grace, I am so sorry to hear of your lost. Writing it all down can help a lot. I’m glad that you have found people to talk to as well. It does help a lot. Have you heard about Laura at fivelittledoves.com ? She also can had a rainbow baby. Do speak to her. She is so very lovey.
Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
This is beautifully written. I am so sorry for your loss, your positivity and strength are remarkable. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx
I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy for your rainbow. I lost 15 babies to miscarriage and my second son to stillbirth, so I know all too well how precious these rainbow babies are.
#fabfridaypost
What a beautiful poem so sorry for your loss Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this. I have two rainbow babies who I am grateful for every single day and far too many I will never get to meet. I will always wonder about them, what they would have been like, the colour of their hair, their eyes. I don’t think it ever leaves you, but it does get easier. Beautiful poem x
#SharingtheBlogLove
Thank you. There are so many women that have experienced this, when it’s talked about you realise how common it is. This doesn’t make it feel normal but there’s a strength from knowing you’re not alone. Sorry for your loss too. x
Returning with #FabFridayPost xx
A beautiful poem, thank you so much for sharing your incredibly personal story x
Such raw emotion. With a bittersweet end. #prose4t
I’m sorry for your loss. I too have only heard of this term in the last year and I have 2 rainbow babies. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
A beautiful post. Im so sorry for your loss. Rainbow baby is a lovely expression. #AnythingGoes
So sorry for your loss but yes, they are in every sense a part of you. Lovely words x
#GlobalBlogging
Beautiful words!!! This left me in tears – I have had 3 miscarriages and there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think about what they would’ve looked like or what kind of personality they would’ve had. A miscarriage is so heartbreaking and it’s fantastic that people like you are talking openly about it – too many women keep it quiet, which can obviously have devastating effects on their mental health. Lovely piece of writing #bigpinklink
I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through and what you’ve lost. Thank you for reading and your support.
I had never heard of this term either until quire recently. I am so sorry to hear this, I too have had a few miscarriages and I still consider them as my children too, my precious babies that I will always love. I have 3 Rainbow babies and I feel so blessed for that. Sending love and hugs your way xx #GlobalBlogging
I completely relate to everything you say here. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and have just had our own Rainbow Baby. “A person is a person no matter how small.” x #twinklytuesday
Beautiful words. My rainbow baby is nearly one, his brother Findlay was stillborn in 2015. I love the metaphor of a rainbow baby, I always call him ‘the baby born in the storm, who brought the colour back to us.’ Thanks for sharing #TriumphantTales
As a mummy of a rainbow baby, after losing three before she came along, I feel your pain, but also, your niece is right-you’re still a mumma, and deserve to be treated like you are.
Big hugs hun xxx
#PostsFromTheHeart
I am so sorry for your loss. It must be such a horrible thing to go through. Your sister is definitely right – you were still a mummy on that first Mother’s Day and that little one will always have a special place in your heart, as will your beautiful rainbow baby. #triumphanttales
Very sorry for your loss – deep sympathies. May you feel strong and well. This is a beautiful way to think about it. #ablogginggoodtime <3
#bigpinklink
Returning from #SharingtheBlogLove Thank you for joining us xx
This made me tear up, you wrote this so beautifully. My sister had a miscarriage and at the time I didn’t really understand what that meant to her but now that I’ve had my own I can imagine how hard that must have been. You are one amazing lady, I admire your strength. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #StayClassyMama!
I really am so sorry for your loss. I think that the term “rainbow baby” is beautiful but I can only imagine how devastating it must be to lose a little one that has very much been (and will always be) a part of you. Thank you for sharing your story and your deeply moving poem with #DreamTeam x
#dreamteam love this, the phrase makes sense to me and I think if people do have others after miscarrying it seems a huge blessing. If only miscarriages were as rare as rainbows.x beautiful words
If only!
I have three children and two rainbow babies – I’ll never forget them either… #coolmumclub
Agree, you’re still a mum your niece is going to be a wise lady. Beautiful poem, thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo x
What a special tribute to your beautiful baby. Beautiful words. You are one strong Mama. I could not imagine your hurt! Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of yourself with us! #globalblogging
Sending more love your way from #globalblogging I just reread this so I can help a friend. xoxo
I hope she can find the time and space to heal. We need our friends, thanks for being there. X
A beautiful poem. It speaks so truthfully of an experience that is so hard to explain. I’ve tried, both to myself and to others. I have two beautiful rainbow babies. I like to think that my three miscarriages were my two fabulous boys making their way through, they just needed more than one attempt to reach us.
That’s a lovely thought.
Oh I have a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart for you. I’m so sorry for your loss, what a poignant poem. Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink this week.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful poem, beautiful words. Thinking of you. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I am so thankful that it isn’t something I have ever had to experience but it has affected so many people I am close to and I cannot comprehend the loss you must feel. Thank you for sharing your story x #SharingTheBlogLove
Sorry for your loss. Two miscarriages and one healthy, happy, now three-year-old rainbow. I did a lot of work, and journaling to let go of the anger and grief especially after my first mc. I don’t think about it that much any more. My kid keeps me on my toes and he wouldn’t be here if things had turned out differently. It’s a hard thing to go through though.
Thanks for you poem. #twinklytuesday
Thank you. Glad he keeps you busy. I’m sure it becomes more distant.
Sending so much love. I cannot in any way imagine how hard this must be but I am sure that your post and your poem will go on to help so many other woman and their families. #PostsFromTheHeart
Thank you. I hope so.
Back from #GlobalBlogging, I just want to say again how much I admire your strength and your writing, thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you for reading
What a beautiful poem. I am so sorry you had to go through this loss. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
I’m so sorry for your loss, lovely. This post is beautiful, the poem is just gorgeous & so well written. Thank you for sharing it with us at #BloggerClubUK x
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful poem that captures so much xx #prose4t
Such a beautiful and moving poem- it resonates so much with my experience of miscarriages. I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
So so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine. What a beautiful poem. Sorry for the late comment, better late than never! Thanks for joining #TriumphantTales.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. The poem is beautiful and I think it perfectly captures the emotions
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
What a beautiful poem! I am also a mother of a rainbow baby. I lost my first pregnancy at 9 weeks. Although it is so incredibly painful, for me I see now how much more I appreciate and cherish my daughter because of the previous loss. God bless you!
And you. It’s a profound experience and one that brings home the fragility of life. Thanks for reading and commenting.