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How do I fit?

I want Grace to be true to who she is and to trust her instincts in life; doing what makes her happy. In my experience, it’s hard for kids when parents want them to take a path that they don’t want to take and equally when they don’t want them on the path that they’ve chosen. It’s also hard when the school system doesn’t fit or value everyone.

I’ve had two sayings in my head.

‘You can’t force a square peg into a round hole’

and one that was a central belief when I worked with young people.

‘Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.’
Albert Einstein

So ‘How do I fit?’ is written to discuss the integrity of her shape and who she wants to be. However, as I wrote it, the importance of respecting difference came out and this is something I’ll discuss with her too.

How do I fit?

What do we have here? Something that used to be a square.
It had a corner and fitted perfectly in there.
Now it’s neither here or there; doesn’t fit anywhere.
They forced it in the circle there, shaved its character bare,
I guess they had their agenda and so didn’t care.
Now what shall we do with this funny edged circle-square?
That doesn’t trust either shape and is now self aware.
Now what shall we do with this funny edged circle-square? That doesn’t trust either shape and is now self aware. Share on X
Mama Grace

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Published inBards for Behaviour and Relationships

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    • bardsforbabes bardsforbabes

      Yes. Though I don’t know if there’s more than one. It’s a great quote and so true.

  1. Ahh this makes me think of my son! He’s yet to realise that senior school is a time to work out what you really enjoy and what suits you… he’s still in the trying to ‘fit in with everybody else’ stage… I’m always telling him not to worry if he’s not great at something, we can’t all be good at everything! It’s what makes us, us! #DreamTeam

    • bardsforbabes bardsforbabes

      Thank you. I read your blog and love it. Yes, for a young person living with autism, I always felt like there was a need, if they were to be involved, to sometimes do things that were completely unnatural. However, I don’t know how you feel but there’s a difference if the aim is to be embraced. That meant changing wasn’t necessarily the aim but showing the value in their personality was. There’s more pride and identity with embrace me. As a consequence changes did occur but these were natural. It’s so interesting.

  2. Very good – I wonder what shape I am… always trying to fit in whatever shape is required and never thinking what shape I am or would like to be! I hope to not pass this awkward trait on to little bean. #dreamteam

    • bardsforbabes bardsforbabes

      Yeah, some shapes fit into others and some don’t. I guess if anything stops being fun or feels forced we should want the best for ourselves and look for where we’re happiest. Thanks for reading.

  3. It’s important to let children be themselves and follow their own paths – even if they aren’t the ones you would have chosen for them
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

    • bardsforbabes bardsforbabes

      I love the phrase shaved down, I don’t like what’s happening of course but it’s a beautiful phrase that encapsulates the removal of part of someone. Thank you for this.

  4. That quote is absolutely perfect I love it very much and is something I will hold onto as my children grow. The message it perfect and I wholeheartedly agree with it. Thank you for joining us at #familyfun

    • bardsforbabes bardsforbabes

      I think it’s a quote and sentiment that can relieve unnecessary pressure of kids and adults. Thanks for reading.

  5. I love both of those sayings, and your poem is just brilliant! It’s so true isn’t it, it’s all about finding what fits! Thanks for linking this up with #DreamTeam!

  6. I’ve always loved that Einstein quote and I think it’s so important for children and parents with the way that schools seem to be so focused on exam results and a narrow curriculum. I really hope that I can make sure my children have the confidence to know themselves and find the things that work for them and make them who they are. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  7. As a kid I did not fit in anywhere, luckily at 16 when I started college I found a group of like minded people who I’m still close to now and one is even my husband! Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much about Grace fitting in. She’ll find her true friends when the time is right!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow!

  8. I love this post. Your quotes are spot on. I love where you started and where you allowed the feelings to take you, and lastly, thank you for bringing me along. M’wah! #ThatFridayLinky xoxo

  9. It is so important to give children the freedom to be who they are – and not enforce our ideals or expectations as parents on them. Lovely sentiment to this poem. Thanks for linking up with #TacticalTuesdays

  10. perfect quote and something we all need to remember! I so agree with you, I tried for so long to be what others seemed to want from me, but I just didn’t fit, until I started listening to myself for a change. thank you for linking up #ablogginggoodtime

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Bards for Babes by Mama Grace