Letting Go

 

Letting Go

In the beginning there was just you and me

But I stand in a world I want you to see.

I’ll take you to places and show you other things,

To hopefully let go, so you use your own wings.

You can come back and tell me what you’ve done.

My only question will be, did you have fun?

Mama Grace

 

As I watch her grow, each stage seems to be about letting go. Letting go of her being in our room, holding me for stability, holding her cup and taking time out to let her have her independence.

It reminds me of working with young people with behavioural and special needs, especially those who needed to be restrained; the 1:1 support and systems we put in place all worked but the ultimate goal is for them to have complete independence and feel their power to control their lives.

I hope that I keep letting go, so that she navigates her way through life feeling fully confident and having fun. This is a poem I wrote for her to find her own way.

This post first appeared on http://www.meetothermums.com

A Moment with Grandma

It’s lovely watching the grandparents get so much joy from their grandchildren and how those moments echo the meaning and spirit of life. The moment I loved recently was my little one ‘helping’ grandma with the gardening. It was full to the brim of an exchange between the open, curious and inexperienced G and the wise and openly loving Grandma.

When I kneel down by your side,
I’ve no idea of the pride,
You feel watching little me
Do something completely silly.
I put the world in my mouth,
You watch and feel in good health;
Knowing I’ve got a life long
Of marvel between right and wrong.
Of course there’s no wrong in your eyes,
You’ll nurture, not criticize.
You’re happy watching me explore,
That recipe doesn’t need more.
You give me your patience and time,
To learn how to make the world mine.
I see how you love to play,
But can’t manage everyday.
So you watch me and skip inside,
With your heart powered by pride.
Looking down with love for me,
This moment is all it could be.

Mama Grace

 

Magpie Child

There you are randomly pecking away.
It’s my Magpie Child, sorting her prey.
Bottle top, wrapper, something out of place,
Nothing’s unimportant, junk’s to your taste.
Spotting the out of ordinary.
Tasting it, eugh, is that necessary?
Try and really think about what you do,
Are you eating all sorts of animal pooh?

Watching you look at the bits that you find,
It’s see-through joy, it’s a shame we’ve become blind.
All your finds you clearly treat like pure gold.
If I were your toys, I think I would be sold.
Seeing all this pleasure your gold can give,
I’ll save some things from the bin, let them live.
You do bring life to everything you touch,
It’s one of the reasons we love you so much.

Mama Grace

The Silent Partner

My husband is off again and will be away. For me it means doing everything and for him missing out on our daughter. The Silent Partner here happens to be my husband but it could just as easily be me. I love his support and what he does for our family and even though he’s not always here, I want our daughter to understand what he’s doing and why he’s doing it.

The Silent Partner

Someone special puts the silent time in,

A rock to this family, the underpin.

Like a mouse they’ll work without being seen

And repeat a travel, work, travel routine.

This may tire them but when they get in,

They hold you and swing you, their boutique gym.

They don’t always see you but they’ll smile,

The thought of you makes everything worthwhile.

Their goal is for your happiness to spread

And be back in time to put you to bed.

Mama Grace

 

This post first appeared on http://www.meetothermums.com

Little Girl Blue

I’m saddened by the reactions and comments we get if my little girl is in blue or not in a dress. It’s the seed of something deeper and very damaging for me. She does wear dresses but she also wears trousers, tracksuits, jeans, shorts and sometimes nothing at all! Her wardrobe consists of many colours and lots of hand me downs. People say, ‘I have some boys clothes do you mind’? And I don’t because most of the time the only thing that seems to make them boys clothes are because they are blue or green or have a picture of a car or train. I don’t know if she likes any of this or not and at the moment I dress her, so when she chooses, I hope she will take that choice freely and be able to navigate her choices without the restrictions and impressions (including mine) floating around consciously or subconsciously in her head. I wrote this after many, many comments.

Little Girl Blue

I smile watching my little girl blue
And dream of a glass ceiling removed for you
But take a breath and I know it’s up there.
The why’s she not wearing? It all starts here.
The trapped stereotypes engraved in us
But right now I watch you playing in blue, oblivious
The pleasure to be a palette of free;
You’re the artist of what you want to be.

I can’t but watch my little girl blue
And think of the challenges you’ll go through.
Colour is just one thing that blocks you in,
You’ll see many pretty ugly patterns for women.
You’ll have to keep trying to slip out of the mould.
I’m telling you to ignore what you’re told.
In this case it’s not to benefit you.
Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do.

Mama Grace

Octopus Arms

Octopus arms, yes, that’s what they call me!
Saving objects in my poor tea
But you know mummy can’t be everywhere,
So please try and take a little care.
I’m, partly, glad that I can save the day,
You see, I know there’s a better way.
You can assess what actions safe to take
And I won’t have to watch for every mistake!

Mama Grace

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Retrieved! No actual objects were harmed in this incident and said tea was finished. Plus it’s a Sunday, so husband is home and I got a second cup. I was vigilant with the second!

Achieve your A

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I used to head a school for young people who were outside the school system. Some had special educational needs and some behavioural problems but all had HUGE difficulties engaging with learning. One of the main contributors was the weight of wanting to be seen as good enough in other peoples eyes. This disabled them, so I always said ACHIEVE YOUR A. I won a Jack Petchy award for creating a safe space for young people to flourish and I celebrate that award but most of all I celebrate the success of those young people. 

Achieve your A, it could be a B.
Achieve your A, it could be a G.
All we want is your absolute best,
Then we can only but be impressed.
You’ll know when you’ve reached the peak for you,
Then there’s nothing else you have to do.
But be proud that you met your potential,
What others do is inconsequential.

Mama Grace

Our Easter Hope

Our egg’s so precious, the very thought, it could break,
more than chocolate, decoration or a keepsake.
Growing you, knowing you, I feel what life means,
So when life is taken my heart splits at the seams.
The value of life held on earth like a shell,
In this world, where life’s worth seems to have gone to hell.
Your life, a life, is something rather magical
And my protection for you is fanatical.
Though you’ll see bitter darkness, we will help joy rise
To indulge in chocolate under light brighter skies.

Mama Grace

Towards your happy

We’re all just trying to do our best
And we’ve all failed, I can attest.
And we get back up, wanting to try
Because, somehow, your gut can’t deny,
That if you were closer to your goal,
To any degree, you’d feel more whole.
A fall, a stumble, enjoy the trip,
It’s part of the journey not a blip.
So let your baby steps move you near,
Towards your happy. Go! Without fear.

Mama Grace